Even as a wedding professional, there are still so many things that I learn every day! Each wedding brings on its own set of challenges and learning experiences. One wedding might teach me what not to do while the other is absolutely flawless and gives me all of the do vibes. Some of the things are small that you wouldn’t think it would make a big different but it absolutely can.
I could go on and on for months about the do’s and don’ts of a wedding, but here are some that I find essential to the planning process and the day of the wedding!
Do: Make appointments for EVERYTHING
Don’t just assume that you can walk in somewhere and be seen right away. Always call to make an appointment even if they end up telling you that you don’t need one, at least try. Whether it is something as small as signing up for a registry to something larger like cake tasting, always assume that an appointment is necessary. Make the phone call and don’t waste your time waiting in lines.
Don’t: Worry about what other want
Whose wedding day is it again? Oh, that’s right…YOURS!!! Do not, I repeat DO NOT worry about what others want. It’s isn’t your moms wedding and it definitely isn’t your grandmas big day so don’t let them take over. It should be about you and your significant other…that’s it! If somebody begins to give you their opinion, you should politely mention to them that you will take it into consideration but ultimately aren’t going to compromise your dream wedding.
Do: Give your guests enough time to plan on attending
Your guests need plenty of time to make arrangements to attend. Do not wait until the last minute to send save the dates and invitations. Save the dates should go out about 6 months before the wedding and invitations should be sent about 3 months before the wedding. This gives them plenty of time to prepare but also doesn’t let them know too early so that they forget.
Don’t: Forget about your wedding bands
The wedding bands are generally a large part of your wedding day, for photos and you ceremony anyways. Make sure to take those bands in and get them cleaned up and sparkling. Also, definitely don’t forget to purchase your significant others wedding band…
Do: Work with professionals
Always work with professionals in the industry instead of your friends and family…unless your friends and family are also in the industry. Professionals have worked weddings many times and know exactly what they are doing. When working with friends and family, yes the cost will generally be cheaper but often times they are just guessing what to do. You don’t want blurry or badly lit photos do you?
Don’t: Forget about your wedding website
A wedding website is such a fantastic and modern way to keep your guests updated and to give them all of the information they will need. Your registry, info about the wedding, photos of the lovely couple, and many other things can be added to your website and will make your life a lot easier. Man, technology can be great sometimes!
Do: Create an additional expenses section in your budget
There is always some unexpected thing you forgot to include in your budget or something you didn’t think you wanted but now you do. Be prepared and just add a little bit of cushion to your budget. That way you aren’t scrambling at the last minute and trying to figure out how to make it work because the money will already be there!
Don’t: Worry about others schedules
If you try to plan around every single persons schedule then you will never be able to get things done. Of course you want to make sure your parents and closest friends and family can make it but if they are important in your life, they will make it work no matter what. They will move things in their own lives around to be there. I’m saying to book a wedding event on the day your mom is supposed to have surgery…but if it’s a small lunch with a friend, then that can be moved around.
Do: Create a pinterest board
Pinterest can be a life saver!!! I have a Pinterest board for everything in life but that’s besides the point. There is a lot of good wedding inspiration on Pinterest for all different styles of weddings too! Whether you want to DIY some decor or just hand a professional decorator a photo of your vision, Pinterest is the place to look!
Don’t: Be a superbride
You are only one person. You can’t do it all. If you try to do everything yourself then you are going to get so burnt out. Ask for help! Your friends and family will help you without question you just have to ask. Don’t feel discouraged that you can’t do it all yourself because let me share a little secret with you…none of us can! We are human and have a lot of other things happening in life at the same time. Don’t do it by yourself.
Do: Get to know your vendors
Your vendors are going to be with you throughout your entire wedding planning process. They are going to be learning a lot about your lives whether you realize it or not so get to know them too! I have a lot of clients that I am still friends with or able to carry a big conversation with because we got to know each other personally and it wasn’t just a business transaction. I know I always thoroughly enjoy getting to know my clients better.
Don’t: Put your registry on your invites
Your invitations are not the place for your registry. It will make it seem as if a gift is required. Most guests will want to do the right thing and will search for a registry or bring money for your future but you don’t want to make it seem required. Registries can go on a wedding website, an invitation insert, or can be word of mouth. Unfortunately there are people who may not be able to afford a lavish gift so don’t make it awkward for them.
Do: Keep track of your budget
Keeping track of your budget is oh so important. If you don’t keep track of what you want to spend versus how much you actually did spend then you might run out of money. If you were planning on spending $2000 on a dress and you actually spend $4000 and don’t adjust in other spots, then your budgeting will be completely off and you might not be able to afford what you would like. Budgeting is essential!
Don’t: Be a bossy
Nobody likes a bossy wedding diva! Don’t tell your bridesmaids what to do. You can give them the information they need without bossing them around and telling them what to do. You are supposed to have fun with your wedding party and if they are tired of you being a diva, they might not want to be there anymore. You also want to be kind to family and your significant other. They are there to help and support you that day…don’t be bossy!
Do: Include your significant other in all decisions
Would you like it if you didn’t get to be a part of the decision making for your wedding day? I’m gonna say nobody would like that. You need to include your significant other in all of the decisions for your wedding. Even if they say they don’t care, at least run the decision by them because it is likely that they do. If you run it by them then at least you can watch their face to see if they like it or not. They should be involved because at the end of the day it is two people getting married, not one.
Don’t: Let your parents control the invite list
Often times, parents like to see if they can control the guest list and invite people who they want to see at the wedding. I have seen it many times where the couple wanted a small, intimate wedding and one of their moms decided to invite a lot more people that they didn’t want there. They didn’t even know who a lot of the people were who had just showed up on their guest list let alone when they showed up at the wedding. Be strong and stern if you need to with your parents and let them know that it is your wedding day and you only want the closest people to you there. Plus, extra people means extra expenses for you people you may not even know.
Do: Remember to eat on your wedding day
This is the thing that I am always trying to nail into my couples heads. It is so important to eat on your wedding day. You will likely be drinking throughout the day, you are paying a lot for that food, and you shouldn’t worry about eyes being on you while you eat because who are you trying to impress anyways? If you drink a lot and don’t eat anything then the night could end badly. Please just take the time during dinner to sit down with your partner and eat your plate of food. You will be thankful later that you got to try the food and had a second to breathe and recharge.
Don’t: Drink too much
I see this way to often at weddings. I am not saying don’t drink at all however you should never be belligerent drunk at your own wedding. I know that you want to celebrate because the day you have been planning is finally here and it has gone perfectly, but leave the crazy drunk title to one of the guests. You want to remember your wedding night and everything about it. Why would you want to plan so hard for something just to not remember what happened the next day? If people keep bringing you drinks, hand them off to others. Trust me, they won’t complain. Enjoy yourself, have a glass or two, eat while you are drinking and don’t be the one puking in the bushes at the end of the night.
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